The other day, I came across this fantastic article: I Didn't Ask For Your Opinion On My Psych Meds. The article goes on to talk about how his choice to medicate is his choice and because he has made this choice; is not an open invitation for any opinions, suggestions, or concerns related to his medications. He goes on to talk about how his life has vastly improved because of his choice to take these medications.
Over the last 6 years I have been thrown into the world of nutrition like I never expected to be. When Samantha was around 2 and attending preschool, every morning on the way to school she would complain that her tummy would hurt. There were several mornings she would get car sick and throw up. We would turn around to go home, get cleaned up, and try again. Then at home she began complaining her tummy hurt. This went on for about 3 weeks, happening all the time. I had it. I couldn't take that she was hurting and I had no idea why. So we began tracking.
When Samantha was 3-1/2 I had a hunch she was about to be kicked out of pre-school. I was a mess and at constant war with myself. I was working, filling orders, designing events, trying to grow a business. Then I would get that call telling me to come get my "crazy" daughter and take her home. My whole day...completely derailed. Then at home I would stand at the counter with my laptop or my glue gun, trying to get work done while Samantha played until she would come stand between me and my work to push me away. (Honestly, I am embarrassed to admit this.)
The other day I was scrolling through my Facebook news feed, checking on what my family and friends are doing. As I scrolled I kept seeing other parents kids all dressed up for dance recitals, holding up awards for soccer, getting ready to go on vacation, participating in basketball, swimming, martial arts or whatever. My heart sank, as I was reminded that my child doesn't do any of those things. Parent Child Envy struck.
Yesterday I was at Samantha's school helping sort some items from a recent event I assisted with. As I was sorting and listening to the other ladies I could hear their burn out. They began to speculate on who would run the event next year, and who would take over the parent organization. They went on to discuss how much work was involved in each of those and that it's too much for one person to take on both. One lady chuckled a bit while stating how she loved to tell people "No" because she was doing this instead. It was that statement that lead to this post today.
This Halloween weekend I realized I have been failing my daughter... BIG TIME!
It first became obvious after Samantha sat in mustard in her brand new, custom made, My Little Pony "pinkie pie" costume. She hadn't even made it to trick-or-treating and had already stained it, with mustard all over her face, on her sleeve, and on one of the neighbor kid's coats. Grrrrrrrr! She is extremely messy.
In a recent blog post I talk about the importance of tracking. It is such a powerful tool and the data you glean from it is invaluable. As part our our initial tracking we tracked our responses each time Samantha had an outburst. Whether it was the removal of a consequence, yelling back, doing nothing, talking calming, or giving a spanking. Each week we would try out a different technique to see what would happen. Any guesses as to which one worked best?
So yesterday Samantha & I were sitting at the table working on her school work, when she asks, "Mom will Scooter die when we move?"
I paused and look long & hard into those big blue eyes. My heart sank a bit. It's such a heavy topic for a child. I gathered my thoughts for a moment and I said, "Yes, honey. At some point he will no longer be with us."
She thought for a moment. Then asked (and I knew it was coming) "What about you and Daddy."
So today munchkin will spend 1/2 day of observation at her potential new school. If all goes well, I expect an acceptance letter. If not...well, honestly, I do not currently have a plan B. I am a big ball of stress. I have prepared for the worst, I am going to hope for the best, and anything in between is probably fine.